I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize