I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
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He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dick very happy bro
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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