I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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