my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
