Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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