i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
