she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
