Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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