I need help removing her.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So many bounce houses so little time
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
