If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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