Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
