Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
how drunk are you?
Several
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
