Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize