Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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