watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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