I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
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Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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