Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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