You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize