go do what you do best...puke behind churches
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
