I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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