Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
