i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
