Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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