i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
