sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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