Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
