try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
