Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
