I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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