if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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