Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize