I just made out with a guy for $7.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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