So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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