Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
