I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize