i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
