he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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