Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
