Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You need a sexual gate keeper
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize