***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
