This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
