You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
They have beer where we have blood.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
