the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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