it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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