I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize