Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
