I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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