Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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