Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
