a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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