The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize