I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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