She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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