I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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