You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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