I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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